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About Tribal Baby

Towards independence
When Maven was nearly 11 months I had an enlightening moment in which I saw he needed to have a pee, but instead of picking him up and taking him to the toilet, I crawled with him to the bathroom, encouraging him, and he went when we got there! (in classic position) I realised he was ready for a step towards independence to begin.

At that point we moved out of our house, moved interstate and into a hotel for a month. It was a one bedroom apartment, perfect for some 'constant vigilance' as it was small.

"Our EC goal of the fortnight"
I devised an idea - an "EC goal of the fortnight" in which I set out my plan to improve my responses by thinking things through to help Maven in this area. Thinking and writing it down in black and white was very helpful (yet again). Initially my plan was to encourage this at on-the-floor times, but then I realised, that is NOT when we have our clearest connection, so I'd be better off practising when our link is clear - moving from a base of confidence.

 Here is the result:

Age of baby/child: 11 months

Our goal:
To encourage Maven to go to the toilet place when he needs to pee at home. I've read it is important to write a goal as if it has already been achieved, so:

Maven approaches the bathroom and calls when he needs to go to the toilet.

Strategy:
To observe and identify an opportunity to encourage Maven to follow me to the bathroom where I give him a pee break. The idea is that as his need is clear, a positive outcome is likely, and then he is more likely to remember at other times. I am also less likely to miss or misinterpret his signs on these occasions.

Reason for this goal:
Maven has displayed this behaviour. (aged 10.75 months) I saw a sign while we were on the floor, I encouraged him to follow me, had to turn him as he darted in the wrong direction, I walked ahead and waited in the bathroom, calling to him, just out of his sight (peek-a-boo around the door). He then peed in the sink in-arms. I was buzzed and realised he is ready to begin slowly learning this next stage.

Time goal: Aim to spot such an opportunity once per day for two weeks. (Minimal 'pressure'. More than this is a bonus) Two weeks is enough time to see whether Maven is ready to do this step.

Start date: Monday 6^th February

Review Date: Monday 20^th February

Process:  What this will look and sound  like: (analyse sequence and words to use)

• Maven signals a need to pee. (Plus I also have an intuitive timing sense that he is likely to need to go.)

• I say "You need to pee. Let’s go to the toilet (sign). Come on, I’ll help you."

• I then pop him on the floor facing the bathroom, and walk, crawl with him, encouraging him to follow.

• He may go in the wrong direction, turn him around. If he pauses, help him the rest of the way. He may pee on the way, this is ok. Cue, aim to help him a bit earlier at next opportunity.

• We get to the bathroom. I give him a pee break. "Pss sss, relax, have a pee," (he goes) "You did a pee, now let’s flush the toilet." (Which he enjoys helping to do)

• Then we leave together.

When will this occur?
Probable times to have an attempt:

• Attempt at after breastfeeding pees.

• Attempt at after-nap pees.

• Attempt at signs when in-arms.

I kept a daily log of our successful attempts to encourage this behaviour together. I only recorded those times where we did well, as what is the point of doing otherwise? Recording success examples keeps me motivated and I can look for similarities in his behaviour at these times. I've read it is important to visualise the completed goal each morning and night as doing this will start both your subconscious and conscious mind on working towards the goal (awareness). This will also help promote positive self-talk.

• Maven had a breastfeed, I could see he needed to go (plucking on and off boob, wriggling to get on floor, piggly wiggly). I put him down, got his attention, said /signed "toilet, Maven" and crawled with him having fun to the bathroom (only a few metres away) He tried to go off in the wrong direction, I pointed him the right way, and we got there happily. I gave him a sink pee break. He grizzled at first, I said ‘relax, have a pee pee, pss pss’ and imagined him peeing, he went. I said "You did a pee, now let’s flush the toilet. " and we did. Yay! (Monday 6^th February)

Revisions of goal: 
I jotted down my thoughts as points as they occurred during the fortnight.