Tribal Baby
Nappy Free Baby

Pearls for the wee small hours:
Night time communication (part two)

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How I hold him at night to prevent a fountain!

I rest my arms on the wide bowl that I hold in place with my legs, and I hold him really relaxed back onto my chest, (head between boobs keeps him in place!) - so much more of a 'dangerous' aiming position! Instead of holding his thighs, I slip my wrists under his thighs so that I can hold my hands in front of any over spray - a few drops may get on my hand - better there than the sheets! So, I hold him with my wrists. The added benefit is that his legs drop apart and this also may help him to relax - he will certainly pee fairly quickly in this position.

How often he needs to go

At first he peed every time he woke for a feed - so every two hours. I got very used to wake, quick suck, pee, feed, sleep as his cycle every two hours or so. Around four to five months he started having a longer sleep early in the night, and around six months he started having less pees, still the same feeds. That is when it became important to remember to offer a feed first! If I forget, he will arch and complain if he didn't need to pee. Around seven months he is peeing three times usually (BLISS) - 9pm, 2am and 5am, sometimes at 12 as well, if he is building antibodies or teething. But, it cycles. When teething he will some nights feed and pee every HOUR in the hours after 2am - seems to be just as the tooth is cutting. From nine months he has had some pee-less nights, depending on whatever is going on. When moving interstate, he went back to 2-3 hourly feeding/peeing for a week or so. From 11ish months he'd occasionally go overnight without needing to wee!

Night time progress

For a time I'd have only one 'dry' night a week, perhaps the only night I actually did it. After a while, I was happy with two misses a night, then one every few days. We cycled into better and better catch rates over time, and as I picked up new tips. By about four months I was doing great. If Maven was about to achieve a new skill, we'd have more misses, and if I was too tired. I'd then have a daytime nap with Maven then go to bed when he did for a few days. After a week with heaps of night misses around five months, I began drinking less in the evening and feeding from one side, and we haven't looked back. (I don't need to do that anymore, but it helped at that stage) In the early months I turned on my 'touch lamp' for light,  especially when we were still using nappies with pins! Then I used a dull torch for a while. Now, we do all pee breaks in the dark. There is usually some ambient light around.

A cycle of improvements

The best thing is that you do get better at it together, whether this is through time, better non-verbal communication or muscle control and bladder size - it is actually all of these. Expect a cycle of improvements - getting better, a few misses, then even better than before. I actually find night times the easiest now as he ALWAYS clearly communicates. It is so true about babies not wanting to 'soil the nest' they sleep in, although it takes time and practise to tune in to this instinct and to find a nightly pattern to support it.

My pearls of wisdom for the night time:

• Be well rested - have a 'nap nurse' in the afternoon - relaxing hormones released.

• Don't have much to drink in the late afternoon and evening. I keep a bottle for sips as I get thirsty, though.

• Try feeding from only one side during the night if having lots of misses.

• Aim to sleep touching the baby, so you wake by feel rather than noise. (less disruptive)

• ALWAYS offer a feed as you wake to the squirming - the 'boob test'.

• If he is hungry he will feed strongly. If he doesn't settle at the end, he has a tinkle then goes back to sleep.

• If he needs to widdle he will pop on and off, or suck weakly and keep squirming, even whimper a little. It's like he's flicking a switch - on-off-on-off "Hey, I need to pee!"

• Listen to baby's breathing pattern - short, noisy breaths, a little 'catch' in his breath, as opposed to silent breathing.

• Sit up and move the pot into place, THEN pick up the baby and hold in position and wait. Often the position is enough at night, with the non-verbal 'belly crunching' or very quietly cueing "ssss" in his ear, or humming "mmmmm" so he doesn't wake up. 

• If missing more, I sleep closer skin to skin (no top) and go to sleep when he does so our sleep cycles become synchronised again. Then it doesn't feel like I've been woken up all night. 

• Very important when picking up bub is to tighten core muscles, as twisting and lifting can easily cause a back injury. I learnt this the hard way... a few times!

• I hold bubs against my body as I move the bowl away, then lay down with him stretched along me. Often I'll wait just a few moments so he isn't startled, as having the widdle usually relaxes him well.

While we were renovating our ensuite I had to walk through five doorways at night to go to the loo, so I tended to avoid doing this. It caused an amazing revelation. I was having unusual ‘test runs’ with Maven at night – I’d wake thinking he needed to pee from his signs, but when offered the opportunity, he just arched and complained. I was perplexed. Then I remembered a post the week before where a lady had experienced a ‘role reversal’ of pee signs at night, and realised this is what was happening to us! I was the one who needed to go, and he was signalling to ME! I experimented the next few nights, and found that after a ‘test run’ if I got up and went, he’d relax and go deeply asleep. Amazing, and it has continued to be a new awareness I have if he declines a pee at night – do I need to go? Also, if he signalled, yet when I held him he'd go to sleep, this was another clue to ask myself the same question. I have found this the most surreal aspect of practising EC – that our intuitive connection works both ways in the quiet environment of the night, sleeping with a small babe snuggled beside me.

The baby mirror

I just spent an interesting night. Hubby was spewing yesterday - caught the bug from me and bubs who had it the day before. He spewed every hour for 24 hours, thank god for the booby - he is fine now, apart from it working out the other end with some yucky poops, only one 'runny bum' accident though.

The interesting thing was watching them mirror each other all night. Bubsy was between us, but very close to me as Daddy was hot - but everything Dad did, baby copied in his sleep! Although he wasn't hot, he kicked off the covers all night just like Dad did, and even assumed the same sleeping poses each time he moved!

 He was really tuned in to his Dad and kept racing in to him when he chucked, stroking him and trying to collect and empty the bowl!!

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