Kayla runs a blog and shop about EC, called The Infant Potty Training Site
Kayla and J.R. live in Alto, Georgia in the US with their two children Ezra and Elizabeth. Alto is a small town in the foothills of the Appalachian mountains, comprised of about 900 country folk. They have EC’ed both their babies from the time they were a few days old. Ezra, now almost 3, used disposables as a backup. Elizabeth, 3 months, uses cloth pocket diapers. J.R. was in the United States Marine Corps, and after finishing his enlistment he became a 911 dispatcher for Habersham County. Kayla is a stay at home mom, who does occasional odd jobs to bring in some income.
“We love EC because it has helped us to feel so incredibly bonded with our babies. When you’re tuned into their elimination needs, it’s much harder to ignore your baby. We get more “face time” because of the potty breaks. It forces us to slow down and really enjoy our babies. It helps me to understand them better, because we communicate about more things than if we didn’t do EC. It’s like opening up a whole new world.”
With our firstborn we used disposables all throughout the process. He was in disposable diapers from birth to around 5 or 6 months. We always bought the cheapo diapers because they feel wetter, which helps with awareness (and our budget). Then we switched to disposable cheapo trainers. By the time he was about a year old, he was out of disposable trainers and into cloth trainers, and then by 15 months or so he was in regular underwear. Now that we’re more confident in our ECing skills, we decided to do cloth exclusively with our now three month old daughter. Our feeling was that this would help her to have even more awareness. We are going to switch her to cloth trainers soon; I think the speed of her progress compare to her brother has a lot to do with using cloth, though some of it could be explained by temperament.
Ezra developed a definite pattern for pooping. He would dependably have a big one in the morning as soon as he woke up. And then he’d have another one at night before bed. Eventually it became one dependable poop in the morning. He peed constantly, and I wonder if it has anything to do with my caffeine addiction. (= With Elizabeth, she’s an all day pooper, but it’s usually after waking from a nap, and never at night. She pees a lot too, but I usually know when she needs to, and I miss a lot less than I did with my first. Our babies are definitely happier because of EC. Basically whenever they get fussy, we know that’s a sign they need the potty. Our son also is a very communicative little boy now, and I credit a lot of that to EC and to baby sign language.
We love EC because it has helped us to feel so incredibly bonded with our babies. When you’re tuned into their elimination needs, it’s much harder to ignore your baby. We get more “face time” because of the potty breaks. It forces us to slow down and really enjoy our babies. It helps me to understand them better, because we communicate about more things than if we didn’t do EC. It’s like opening up a whole new world.
I felt successful from day 1 with EC, and after that first catch, my husband and I were both addicted to EC. The only time we felt a little uncomfortable was when we were at other people’s houses. With our second baby, we’ve felt comfortable in all situations, and we’re much more open about telling people what we do. We did it full time with my son, with the exception of night-time until he was around a year old. Also, we took a “break” from EC for a couple of weeks while on vacation. Looking back, we wish we would’ve continued, as Ezra was much fussier during that time. With my daughter, we’ve done it full time, even at night with great success. I feel very confident now, though I do still have missy days when I wondered “What happened?”
In those times when I’m busy, I try to stop and take stock and see if what is making me so busy is truly necessary in the first place. If it is, then I will be more lax about how many times I offer the potty. If we’re really in a tight spot, in a place where there’s no way we could offer the potty, we just use disposable diapers. Though now that we have a potty-on-the go, I can’t think of a time when that’s happened. One of the challenges of EC/IPT is that once your consciousness is raised, it can never be lowered, and that can make it hard to let your baby mess on themselves. But, it’s absolutely imperative to take a break if you feel yourself burning out. No one’s happy when mama’s not happy!
EC has been a Godsend for our budget. The way I found out about EC in the first place was that we were trying to find ways to save money on diapers. At the time we were living only on my husband’s income, and he was only a corporal in the Marine Corps, which is not a very high paying job. By doing EC, we’ve saved tons of money, and it has helped to allow me to remain a stay at home mom, which I absolutely love!
EC touches so many aspects of your life. I feel like we’re doing a good thing for the environment by not contributing disposables to the landfill anymore. I love the enhanced communication. My son has been so helpful with helping his baby sister to relax on the potty if she’s fussy, and I think by ECing her, it helped him not to regress when she was born. Another huge plus is that we never have experienced any diaper rash, ever. But one thing that has been a real eye opener is that sometimes published medical “fact” is completely wrong. Virtually every baby book says babies lack the muscle control needed for potty until they turn 2, and that’s patently untrue.
If you’re just starting out, the best piece of advice I could give is to RELAX. It will help your baby, and it’ll help you. Don’t be hard on yourself or your baby when there’s a miss, because that can only make this harder. Focus on the progress and the catches, and just forget about the misses (though do learn from them of course!) And if your babies pee a lot, like mine, focus on the potty breaks as being an opportunity to slow down and bond with your baby.
If you find yourself begrudging EC, offer the potty less or reprioritize your life. Don’t let EC become something you dislike.
Since I’ve been practicing it with our second, I can definitely say that it is worth doing EC with subsequent children! I was so nervous that I wouldn’t be able to devote the time necessary, or that the next baby wouldn’t “get it” like my son did, but there was no need to fear. It gets easier with subsequent children; you’re more confident, you know a lot of tricks, and even if you weren’t taking them to the potty, you’d still be taking the same time to change diapers.
One thing I’ve done differently, and still strive to do, is not let my perceived perceptions of how other people think of it affect how I EC. For example, I used to think people would think we’re weird, so we’d not take our son to the potty when we were at a friends house. Or, I wouldn’t take them away from a grandparent when I knew they needed to go potty. Now I just say, “Let me take her to the potty real quick, and I’ll bring her right back to you! ” People are a lot more open to EC than you might imagine!
Kayla
P.S Thanks again for your website, because without it, I wouldn’t have tried EC.
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